Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
