apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
