this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
