You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
