my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize