Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
