I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
