How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
