if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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