I want to have your abortion
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
