he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
