he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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