I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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