I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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