You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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