are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
