I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
