you have to choose: penises or morals?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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