moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
