is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
