hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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