you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
