I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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