Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
