i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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