Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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