Can i not drive my cunt home
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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