I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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