I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
