This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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