On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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