on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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