If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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