Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
