Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
