My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
