I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my being single is dangerous.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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