I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
