it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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