I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
