Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
