So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
