Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
