Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
