I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
