I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
