i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh god it's open bar.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
