Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
