just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
