She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
