Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He better not be in your backpack
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
