I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
