You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
