I'm going to jail i love you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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