That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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