Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
