please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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