I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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