Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
