Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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