she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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