I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
