thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
