he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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