More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
