I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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