so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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