Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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