I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
