I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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