i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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